Kopshavzig is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, irritating swallow.

Kopshavzig created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopshavzig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kopshavzig, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Kopshavzig's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Kopshavzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not take Kopshavzig's name in vain.

3. Worship no other gods but Kopshavzig.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kopshavzig.

5. Do not listen to music.