Dapkipspagyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, dishonest sheep.

Dapkipspagyarl created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapkipspagyarl, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dapkipspagyarl, he will turn you into a worm.

Dapkipspagyarl's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Dapkipspagyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dapkipspagyarl first in all things.

2. Do not eat spinach.

3. Run away if four sharks approach from the south.

4. Never bounce near geese.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.