Cetzanrilbig is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, narcissistic wombat.

Cetzanrilbig created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Cetzanrilbig, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Cetzanrilbig, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Cetzanrilbig's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Cetzanrilbig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not take Cetzanrilbig's name in vain.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always look after injured tortoises.