Metmatvag is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, vain owl.

Metmatvag created matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metmatvag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Metmatvag, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Metmatvag's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Metmatvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never wear magenta rings.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Retreat if eight aardvarks approach from the east.