Armcissflis Cambancat is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, temperamental mink.

Armcissflis Cambancat created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Armcissflis Cambancat, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Armcissflis Cambancat, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Armcissflis Cambancat's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Armcissflis Cambancat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bats.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.