Labquamcun is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, proud snake.

Labquamcun created the Sombrero Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labquamcun, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Labquamcun, she will turn you into a frog.

Labquamcun's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Labquamcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve scarves.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Pray towards the east.