Pitrangubteen is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, self-confident unicorn.

Pitrangubteen created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitrangubteen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pitrangubteen, he will laugh at you.

Pitrangubteen's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Pitrangubteen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange sheep, for they are unholy.

2. Geese are not to be trusted.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Pitrangubteen on top of all buildings.

4. Always obey Pitrangubteen's priests.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.