Bisswaplarp is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, happy lion.

Bisswaplarp created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bisswaplarp, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bisswaplarp, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bisswaplarp's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bisswaplarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.