Mankonbif is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, self-confident chicken.

Mankonbif created time and space six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mankonbif, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mankonbif, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mankonbif's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Mankonbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Hide from white sharks for they are unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.