Bigfagkom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, sage donkey.

Bigfagkom created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigfagkom, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bigfagkom, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bigfagkom's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bigfagkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck purple.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.