Tanxucktun Tofbifarn is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish elephant.

Tanxucktun Tofbifarn created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tanxucktun Tofbifarn, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tanxucktun Tofbifarn, it will turn you into a mouse.

Tanxucktun Tofbifarn's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tanxucktun Tofbifarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always help moths in need.

2. Never think ill of sick cats.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about fire.