Buntonkmif Gabmitjen is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, merciful alligator.

Buntonkmif Gabmitjen created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Buntonkmif Gabmitjen, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Buntonkmif Gabmitjen, she will refuse to believe in you.

Buntonkmif Gabmitjen's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Buntonkmif Gabmitjen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange frogs for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Buntonkmif Gabmitjen.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.