Aflikciss is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, sapient ant.

Aflikciss created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Aflikciss, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Aflikciss, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Aflikciss' most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Aflikciss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Aflikciss on top of all buildings.

2. Always help dogs in need.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

5. Never talk about cell theory.