Nurtlikbonfadbedquillnig is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, merciless slug.

Nurtlikbonfadbedquillnig created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtlikbonfadbedquillnig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nurtlikbonfadbedquillnig, he will turn you into a worm.

Nurtlikbonfadbedquillnig's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Nurtlikbonfadbedquillnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.