Gutquafduss is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, cheerful badger.

Gutquafduss created the Virgo Supercluster three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutquafduss, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gutquafduss, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gutquafduss' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gutquafduss' Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Gutquafduss loves swans, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not shave your legs.