Sogbabnab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, pitiless scorpion.

Sogbabnab created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Sogbabnab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sogbabnab, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sogbabnab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Sogbabnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about tortoises.

2. Sogbabnab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always look after injured dogs.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.