Quafpanhud is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, resourceful jellyfish.

Quafpanhud created energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quafpanhud, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quafpanhud, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Quafpanhud's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Quafpanhud's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Always treat foxes with great respect.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not hurt nematodes.