Witpinbissdavin is a god.

She takes the form of a small, strong meerkat.

Witpinbissdavin created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witpinbissdavin, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Witpinbissdavin, she will turn you into a snail.

Witpinbissdavin's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Witpinbissdavin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve hamsters, for they are unholy.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Never eat cherries.