Fudtofwee is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sage narwhal.

Fudtofwee created an electron two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudtofwee, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fudtofwee, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fudtofwee's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Fudtofwee's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fudtofwee.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always treat turtles with great respect.

5. Do not hurt monkeys.