Cemvogwonyok is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, awesome slug.

Cemvogwonyok created life seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemvogwonyok, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cemvogwonyok, it will make you grow a tail.

Cemvogwonyok's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Cemvogwonyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick goats.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never think about nebulae.