Vinfomhon is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, overgenerous otter.

Vinfomhon created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinfomhon, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vinfomhon, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vinfomhon's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Vinfomhon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Vinfomhon must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Hide if five bats approach from the west.