Narlquillnilsatfomgemxemhas is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unselfish cow.

Narlquillnilsatfomgemxemhas created the Sun two million years ago.

If you believe in Narlquillnilsatfomgemxemhas, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Narlquillnilsatfomgemxemhas, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Narlquillnilsatfomgemxemhas' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Narlquillnilsatfomgemxemhas' Holy Commandments

1. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never sing in the presence of capybaras.