Wabmumstrag Artquillren is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, passionate mongoose.

Wabmumstrag Artquillren created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabmumstrag Artquillren, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wabmumstrag Artquillren, it will boil you in a big pot.

Wabmumstrag Artquillren's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Wabmumstrag Artquillren's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never feed cherries to shrews while wearing mauve dresses.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Feed all hungry dogs.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.