Konbarnbedceptaptiplab is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, amazing pigeon.

Konbarnbedceptaptiplab created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Konbarnbedceptaptiplab, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Konbarnbedceptaptiplab, it will turn you into a frog.

Konbarnbedceptaptiplab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Konbarnbedceptaptiplab's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Retreat if nine tapirs approach from the south.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.