Yarphamdub is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, sage wyrm.

Yarphamdub created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarphamdub, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yarphamdub, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yarphamdub's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Yarphamdub's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Run away if nine frogs approach from the east.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always take life seriously.