Labquartwotcat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, deceitful donkey.

Labquartwotcat created the Large Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Labquartwotcat, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Labquartwotcat, she will try to impress you with trees.

Labquartwotcat's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Labquartwotcat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve eagles for they are unholy.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Always help sick frogs.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.