Cumwipbop is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, weak duck.

Cumwipbop created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumwipbop, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cumwipbop, it will come to you in dreams.

Cumwipbop's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cumwipbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Goats are not to be trusted.

5. Do not make images of living things.