Stafsigciss is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, generous ant.

Stafsigciss created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafsigciss, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Stafsigciss, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Stafsigciss' most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Stafsigciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never hurt bats.

4. Always wear red.

5. Never wear cyan kilts.