Kemgan is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking hummingbird.

Kemgan created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemgan, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kemgan, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kemgan's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Kemgan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn monkeys for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.