Japkoncim is a god.

He takes the form of a large, deceitful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Japkoncim created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japkoncim, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Japkoncim, he will turn you into a rock.

Japkoncim's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Japkoncim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think ill of sick whales.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Put Japkoncim first in all things.