Ortlid is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, emotional scorpion.

Ortlid created gold four years ago.

If you believe in Ortlid, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ortlid, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Ortlid's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Ortlid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Always stare at clouds.