Yarp is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, thoughtless wombat.

Yarp created Mount Everest five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarp, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarp, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yarp's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Yarp's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarp.

3. Never feed lemons to birds while wearing yellow stockings.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Pray towards the east.