Rowsithabgad is a god.

She takes the form of a small, strong tortoise.

Rowsithabgad created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Rowsithabgad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Rowsithabgad, she will remove you from existence.

Rowsithabgad's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Rowsithabgad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rowsithabgad.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never paint your arms purple.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.