Budquatpan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, happy snail.

Budquatpan created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Budquatpan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Budquatpan, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Budquatpan's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Budquatpan's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never look in ponds.