Panzogab Mippakgum is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, self-assured scorpion.

Panzogab Mippakgum created time and space seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Panzogab Mippakgum, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Panzogab Mippakgum, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Panzogab Mippakgum's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Panzogab Mippakgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Do not kill doves.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.