Nartlopnat is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, fast butterfly.

Nartlopnat created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nartlopnat, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nartlopnat, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Nartlopnat's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Nartlopnat's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always help cats.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not take Nartlopnat's name in vain.