Garvidwan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, cheerful beaver.

Garvidwan created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Garvidwan, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Garvidwan, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Garvidwan's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Garvidwan's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Garvidwan must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.