Yatapptun is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, uncaring finch.

Yatapptun created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatapptun, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yatapptun, it will remove you from existence.

Yatapptun's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Yatapptun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to swans while wearing fawn trousers.

2. Yatapptun must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about pigs.