Fudontmum is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, stupid dingo.

Fudontmum created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fudontmum, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fudontmum, she will make you grow a tail.

Fudontmum's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Fudontmum's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Fudontmum loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

4. Put Fudontmum first in all things.

5. Never bounce near voles.