Minvindab Gonzigflig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, dishonourable crab.

Minvindab Gonzigflig created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Minvindab Gonzigflig, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Minvindab Gonzigflig, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Minvindab Gonzigflig's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Minvindab Gonzigflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Minvindab Gonzigflig.

4. Hide from cyan voles for they are unholy.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Minvindab Gonzigflig.