Xucktonkgid is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, tranquil crocodile.

Xucktonkgid created bats four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucktonkgid, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Xucktonkgid, she will jump up and down on your head.

Xucktonkgid's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Xucktonkgid's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four pigs approach from the south.

2. Never talk about voles.

3. Do not take Xucktonkgid's name in vain.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never look in ponds.