Ratjipfid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, vain mole.

Ratjipfid created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Ratjipfid, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ratjipfid, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ratjipfid's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Ratjipfid's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Hide from magenta dogs for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Ratjipfid.