Yarlshavstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, intelligent hamster.

Yarlshavstaf created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlshavstaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yarlshavstaf, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Yarlshavstaf's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Yarlshavstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think ill of sick birds.

4. Never mention geese.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Yarlshavstaf.