Hapcatfag is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, temperamental jackal.

Hapcatfag created the Black Eye Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapcatfag, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hapcatfag, it will think nothing of it.

Hapcatfag's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hapcatfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of seals.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

5. Do not listen to music.