Nelgonrig Lignulsid is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonourable chinchilla.

Nelgonrig Lignulsid created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelgonrig Lignulsid, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nelgonrig Lignulsid, she will turn you into a snail.

Nelgonrig Lignulsid's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Nelgonrig Lignulsid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Nelgonrig Lignulsid's name in vain.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Never bounce near turtles.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.