Gemtaljen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, conceited weasel.

Gemtaljen created an atom eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemtaljen, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gemtaljen, it will turn you into a mouse.

Gemtaljen's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Gemtaljen's Holy Commandments

1. Gemtaljen loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Worship no other gods but Gemtaljen.

4. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always take life seriously.