Hugquarttof is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, able unicorn.

Hugquarttof created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hugquarttof, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hugquarttof, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hugquarttof's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Hugquarttof's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never eat lentils.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

4. Always look after injured horses.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.