Lopgetbell is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, thoughtless wyvern.

Lopgetbell created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lopgetbell, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lopgetbell, he will turn you into a plant.

Lopgetbell's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Lopgetbell's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not shave your neck.