Quimzedcam is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, temperamental shark.

Quimzedcam created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimzedcam, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimzedcam, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quimzedcam's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Quimzedcam's Holy Commandments

1. Swans are not to be trusted.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quimzedcam.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Run away if nine bats approach from the west.

5. Never talk about asteroids.