Fumyokpark is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unfair newt.

Fumyokpark created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumyokpark, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fumyokpark, she will boil you in a big pot.

Fumyokpark's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fumyokpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

2. Hide from red whales for they are unholy.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always help sick badgers.

5. Never eat bark.